In Pain Today

I am in a lot of pain today and I am just trying to hang in there the best that I can do. I have had Fibromyalgia for over 9 years now and I must say that at times when I think about my life, I must say that I was not expecting this to happen in my life. If someone were to tell me that I would be chronically ill in my future, I would have never believed them.

I must say that it is difficult to cope with it and battle with the loneliness that comes with it too. I do try to keep myself as busy as I can so that I will not think about it however there are times when I do not have anything to do and the lonely feelings start to creep in along with the depressive state.

I am indeed trying my hardest to provide for myself and I hate that I do not have good health insurance to be able to try the therapies that I would love to try. A fellow Twitter friend of mine mentioned about trying Chiropractic therapy and believe me I have heard of it ages ago however I am not able to afford it. Even with a free consultation more than likely they will not do anything until you pay for the services. I have been working on trying raise the money to be able to afford other therapies to help myself. I pay for my YMCA membership which takes care of my Aquafit classes, along with Yoga and Pilates classes.

I am trying to afford to get weekly massage therapy but I will need to get another writing job to do that. I have been trying to find more work but the competition is fierce to get a blogging job so I will need to find some other resources that may have some additional work that I can do from home.

Doctors Just Don't Understand

I went to my doctor today to get a referral to another department. I made sure that I brought all that I needed to read as I always have to wait for awhile even with my appointment. So I sat there and everyone was looking at me with my huge book that I was reading and marking up with my highlighter. I have been going through the Writer's Market 2009 directory to help me with getting my name out as a writer.

So I saw my doctor and I noticed that I gained a bit of weight and I have been working out more seriously for the last three weeks or so and then my doctor told me to stop doing the Aquafit classes as he said that I would not lose any weight doing that and for me to do running and jogging. I looked at him like he was crazy! There is no way in my physical condition that I would be able to do that type of exercise. I would end up in the hospital if I tried to do that stuff which I have experienced that before. So I decided to ignore my doctor's advice on fitness as I am the only one who knows what is best for my body at this point. The Aquafit class has helped me a lot with reducing my pain and I get a fantastic workout in that class. I rather jog in the pool and do the weights in the pool as the resistance is more intense. I noticed that I have grown stronger too since I have been doing the weights and I sleep better. The only advice that I will be taking from my doctor is to walk more. I have been trying to do that but after about 15 minutes of walking, my back hurts and then I experience shooting pain from my back to my legs, and it makes it hard for me to walk or move around.

The pain clinic told me that I should get to working out in the pool and it would help me in losing weight. So you see the difference in advice from the doctors? Anyway all I can do is try and keep going. I have been working out in the pool twice a week and I am trying to get up to three to four times a week. I eat healthy and organic produce daily. I do need to add more grilled fish to my diet. I eat a lot of ground flaxseed in my fat free yogurt with fresh blueberries and I eat that about three to five times a week. I do not eat fried foods, processed foods, pasta, or carbs.

So I have to remember that it will take time to for me to lose the weight. I have lost a bit of weight and then I gained a bit of weight again. I believe that my body will build muscle first and then I will lose the weight? I need to research that more.

Anyway I have trouble with getting my doctors to listening to me and sometimes I wonder why I still have to go to these appointments but I need my medications and any further assistance with any additional problems that I am going through.